‘It’s quite soul-destroying’: how we fell out of love with dating apps.
For a decade, apps have dominated dating. But now singles are growing tired of swiping and are looking for new ways to meet people – or reverting to old ones
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For me it was always obvious that if you want to find someone you should reach them directly. Completely regardless of image editing, privacy, mass scams and many other things I never saw an internet friend as same as a real one.
Let’s say we assume that the definition of a friend is someone who’s going to help us anytime we need. Let’s say that we are not really worried about timezone difference. How someone like that is going to help you in the hardest moments? We assume that everything we have we would have indefinitely and that’s the core problem.
If our friend is close it’s rather obvious that we would help each other even if one of us does not have same problem. The difference is that we do not expect that someone from the 2nd end of the world to come and save us from a dangerous situation. When we stop assume everything and start asking questions we start to see the reality.
I guess we can say the same about dating apps. We have some “contacts” that we would never meet and all we can is to share information. A generic purpose tool that for example let’s you learn local language and culture from your home is indeed helpful, but if we would use our tools the wrong way we should really not expect any positive results.
Totally hear you, but for me, online friendships have always felt more intimate in a way. When you’re not sitting face to face, there’s this freedom, you’re not performing, not constantly aware of someone judging you the way people do in real life. You’re just… real. Vulnerable. Raw.
I don’t really open up as much to people IRL. There’s this unspoken pressure. Online you can dive straight into someone’s soul without the noise. I’ve had some of my deepest, most emotionally honest connections through screens.
Sure, maybe they can’t physically show up at your door in a crisis.. but let’s be real, how many IRL would? Presence isn’t just physical. Sometimes just having someone truly see you, understand you, and hold space for you emotionally, even from across the world, is more powerful than anything else.
